In this work, we address the challenging problem of completely blind video quality assessment (BVQA) of user generated content (UGC). The challenge is twofold since the quality prediction model is oblivious of human opinion scores, and there are no well-defined distortion models for UGC content. Our solution is inspired by a recent computational neuroscience model which hypothesizes that the human visual system (HVS) transforms a natural video input to follow a straighter temporal trajectory in the perceptual domain. A bandpass filter based computational model of the lateral geniculate nucleus (LGN) and V1 regions of the HVS was used to validate the perceptual straightening hypothesis. We hypothesize that distortions in natural videos lead to loss in straightness (or increased curvature) in their transformed representations in the HVS. We provide extensive empirical evidence to validate our hypothesis. We quantify the loss in straightness as a measure of temporal quality, and show that this measure delivers acceptable quality prediction performance on its own. Further, the temporal quality measure is combined with a state-of-the-art blind spatial (image) quality metric to design a blind video quality predictor that we call STraightness Evaluation Metric (STEM). STEM is shown to deliver state-of-the-art performance over the class of BVQA algorithms on five UGC VQA datasets including KoNViD-1K, LIVE-Qualcomm, LIVE-VQC, CVD and YouTube-UGC. Importantly, our solution is completely blind i.e., training-free, generalizes very well, is explainable, has few tunable parameters, and is simple and easy to implement. © 1992-2012 IEEE.